WMD - Wedding of Mass Destruction

So it turns out that Jennifer Wilbanks (the missing bride-to-be) is still alive & well and apparently wasn't kidnapped at all. She turned up in New Mexico and initially made up a story about being abducted by a man and woman with a van (who incidentally cut her hair). Later she admitted the story was fabricated and she just had cold feet about the wedding.

Alrighty then. I think this goes beyond "cold feet" because that indicates that she has doubts about the marriage. Once you go on a 5-state jump across the country, let the entire world (including your own family) think you've been murdered for 4 days and then make up a story involving abduction by hairstylists to try and cover it all up you've gone beyond "having doubts".

A spokesman for the family said "It has been determined that Jennifer has some issues the family was not aware of." Issues? Yeah, like this woman is absolutely friggin' nuts. This is the type of stunt a a ten-year old pulls...only it's for 2 hours, not 4 days. Most 10-year olds also learn that behvaing this way is a bad idea as it usually involves their ass and a close encounter with a piece of wood or a leather strap.

The police say there will be no criminal charges filed against Jennifer for falsifying information. What, why not? So it's okay for this woman from the middle of nowhere to take up precious time for Michael Jackson trial footage on Nancy Grace and not even get a slap on the wrist? Mark Lunsford is really upset he had to cancel plane tickets out there too. I demand retribution!

So what if her fiance farts constantly and smells like cheetos, there's a point where you cross the line and go too far. I think she passed it somewhere around Arkansas.

Garbage Post? You Be The Judge...

Sarah finally made it back home safely - Yipee! Now hopefully I don't have to listen to her talk about potato salad every single day, although I'm not certain she won't have to be admitted to some type of rehabilitation center to get over her strange addiction.

On an unrelated note I woke up this morning and saw on the news that a whole load of carbombs had been detonated (again) in Iraq killing hundreds of people.

I am so sick of hearing about this every single day that I just assume they are going to blow up at least one car daily, but I don't need to keep hearing about it. Do they even have any cars left? I mean, at the last count they've blown up a billion or so vehicles. You would think they'll either run out of cars to detonate or people willing to blow themselves to smithereens to prove a point.

What is their point? I don't know, but I'll bet their insurance rates are sky high.

Yes, I Would Like Some Cheese With My Whine.

I apologize for being such a lousy blogger lately. Not that I really need to apologize because it's not like I'm shirking responsiblity for something I'm getting paid for or anything. I have all of 2 readers anyway, so I don't think I've devastated anyone by not posting lately.

Why haven't I posted you may ask? The simple answer is it takes time. I always hate doing something half-assed, so most of my posts I research and take quite a bit of time to write. Maybe this was the wrong approach because it started feeling more like work than fun. I've tried writing smaller tidbits, but they just aren't interesting, even to me.

I guess I've still been trying to find my voice for blogging and it hasn't hit me yet. Where's the balance of writing what I want to say and keep it fun and interesting at the same time? Well, there's no simple answer and I guess I just have to keep trying different things.

Why don't I post anything personal about myself? I have posted a few personal items but I don't generally talk too much about myself (even less to those that actually know me). I trust absolutely no one (with one exception you'll find below) and expect everyone to betray me at some point in my life. I know that sounds really harsh, but experience and the past have shown this to be true. I figure the less people know about me the better. I stopped trying to make friends years ago and don't intend to start again anytime soon. If I make no expectations from anyone then I will never be dissappointed.

Maybe I'm a coward for not wanting more out of life. I don't know for sure. What I do know is that my sweetie, Sarah, is out of town and I'm completely alone with only the cats to keep me company. She is the one person that makes me happy and that I truly need. Without her my already average life drops quickly to dreary soon to be followed up with downright dismal.

I don't have anyone to talk to, go out with or watch movies with and it's pretty lonely. I should be used to being alone because I kept myself in solitude for about 5 years previously...then I met Sarah 6 years ago and things changed a bit. I suppose it's all my fault for not trying to have any friends, but I don't know that I can change that part of me. You may ask how am I able to talk openly online about my shortcomings? Well, because I don't know any of you and probably never will. I have no risk of being hurt because there is no attachment there.

If you have found all this thoroughly "woe is me" and depressing enough I can't say I blame you as it is pretty much like everyone else's annual "disgusted with life, I'm all alone, poor pitiful me" post. Chalk it up to another un-original, un-inspired post from a self-centered asshole. I just miss Sarah.

If At First You Don't Succeed...Fail Again

Am I the only person who finds it extremely disconcerting that NASA found a flaw in the new shuttle, Discovery, and still intend to launch it?

Keep in mind that this particular flaw isn't just anywhere...it's a crack in the insulation for one of the fuel tanks. Columbia blew up after damaged thermal insulation on it's left wing allowed superheated gases to penetrate and destroy the vehicle. I'm sure the experts there know what they're doing, but geez, it's a crack in the FUEL TANK!

Shuttle Discovery includes 286 modifications made to it since the Columbia tragedy.

Unfortunately none of those modifications included a fuel tank that would not explode upon ignition.

It Always Comes In "3s"

Well I guess the Pope was really sick after all.

It's strange how we had a Pope, a prince and a lawyer all die this week.

Sounds like the start of a bad bar joke, doesn't it?

In the meantime, I shall ponder who will be the next Pope. I nominate Stephen Hawking just to see the look on someone's face after they've been blessed by a Speak-N-Spell on wheels.

To Blog Or Not To Blog

I have been so wary on posting anything with today being April Fool's day and all. As you may have noticed I like to comment on current news stories most of the time and while I would like to think the news agencies wouldn't report anything false (hah! like that never happens) I'll err on the side of scepticism instead.

On my way to work this morning I was listening to the radio and they had a bogus news story about Michael Jackson committing suicide and I was like "no way!". I completely forgot what day it was although I found the story strange I didn't catch on until they followed with a story about rapper 50 Cent being shot and I raised a suspicious eyebrow.

The part that makes both of these stories work is that they are completely believable. I would not be THAT surprised if Michael Jackson did commit suicide and 50 Cent was already involved in a shooting just a couple of weeks ago so they are certainly plausible stories.

Well, I won't be fooled again.

Do they really expect me to believe the Pope is dying?

Ha! What a load of crap. Nope, I'm not buying it.