WMD - Wedding of Mass Destruction

So it turns out that Jennifer Wilbanks (the missing bride-to-be) is still alive & well and apparently wasn't kidnapped at all. She turned up in New Mexico and initially made up a story about being abducted by a man and woman with a van (who incidentally cut her hair). Later she admitted the story was fabricated and she just had cold feet about the wedding.

Alrighty then. I think this goes beyond "cold feet" because that indicates that she has doubts about the marriage. Once you go on a 5-state jump across the country, let the entire world (including your own family) think you've been murdered for 4 days and then make up a story involving abduction by hairstylists to try and cover it all up you've gone beyond "having doubts".

A spokesman for the family said "It has been determined that Jennifer has some issues the family was not aware of." Issues? Yeah, like this woman is absolutely friggin' nuts. This is the type of stunt a a ten-year old pulls...only it's for 2 hours, not 4 days. Most 10-year olds also learn that behvaing this way is a bad idea as it usually involves their ass and a close encounter with a piece of wood or a leather strap.

The police say there will be no criminal charges filed against Jennifer for falsifying information. What, why not? So it's okay for this woman from the middle of nowhere to take up precious time for Michael Jackson trial footage on Nancy Grace and not even get a slap on the wrist? Mark Lunsford is really upset he had to cancel plane tickets out there too. I demand retribution!

So what if her fiance farts constantly and smells like cheetos, there's a point where you cross the line and go too far. I think she passed it somewhere around Arkansas.